Tuesday, 9/17/24 – A Good Day, A Better Day
Wow—what a special day. A different day. A good day. A better day. A peaceful day. A tearful day.
I woke up around 8:00 AM, made some coffee, and sat down for my 8:30 AM Zoom call with the Infectious Disease doctor. He didn’t have any concrete answers, mostly telling me that we’ll have to wait and see if things are improving. If I continue to experience pain or worsening conditions, he suggested I consult my surgeon.
After the call, I spent about an hour reading The Invisible Rainbow, followed by some journaling and self-reflection. I wrote a bit about what it’s like to feel like you’re losing mobility and functionality—I’ll expand on that in a separate post.
Small Wins: Physical Therapy and Showering
Around mid-morning, I did an hour of physical therapy, including 10 minutes on my Sadhu boards and a series of squats. This session felt different—stronger, more grounded. I’ve been using mindfulness and conscious breathing to center myself during these moments of physical challenge, and today it seemed to pay off. After therapy, I was able to get out of the bathtub in just one minute—down from three minutes on Sunday. It’s the little things that feel like monumental wins.
Conversations with the Bacteria: Trusting in the Process
What stands out today is how much better I feel. Yesterday, my wound doctor agreed that I likely have an infection and said the metal in my hip might need to be removed. My physical therapist sent me home after seeing the intense pain and drainage. But today, I’m in a different place.
I’m not out of the woods, but I truly can’t believe how much better I feel today compared to last week. And part of this improvement came from something a bit unusual—I had a conversation with the bacteria in my hip. I told them I accept them and love them, but I also asked them to leave my body, trusting that they are conscious beings and can make that decision. It might sound strange, but it was a significant moment for me. It was about letting go, trusting the process, and finding peace amidst the pain.
Gratitude and Reflection
After my PT session, I updated my MacBook and iPad to the new OS, had some lunch, and finished watching Divergent. It was the most peaceful day I’ve had in a long time.
I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. This time last week, I was experiencing level 9 stabbing pain, and today, that pain has lightened. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I’m thankful for today’s small victories.
Is This What It’s Like to Get Old?
During my journaling today, I reflected on what it feels like to lose mobility and be homebound. Is this what it’s like to grow old? As I sit in my recliner, I wonder about the changes that come with age, how life shifts, and how we adjust. If you’re interested in reading more about those reflections, you can check out my separate post here: Is This What It’s Like to Be Old?.
Thank you for taking the time to read this! If you made it to the end, please leave a comment!
Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu – May All Beings Be Happy and Free